In my new role as a foster father (not-soon-enough adoptive father!), the other day, Sam & I were cleaning up the side of the house and we were “team sweeping” the leaves and stuff – me sweeping, him using the dust pan.  He was having a tough time getting all the stuff in the dust pan and I recalled how my dad taught me the “sweep, back up the pan, and repeat” process for getting all the stuff picked up.  So, naturally, I imparted my well-honed “sweeping” knowledge to him…

Pretty cool – and not so painful.  I’m sure, in the course of our lives together, I’ll have ample opportunity to share and teach Sam about the not-so-good or hard lessons I’ve learned…

I was reading in Colossians yesterday and these two verses from chapter two popped out:

⁹For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, ¹⁰and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.

My mind immediately imagined Paul writing these verses (and really the whole 6-23 passage).  I imagined him recalling what we read in Acts:

And Saul [now Paul] was there, giving approval to his [Stephen's] death.  On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria. Acts 8:1

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest ²and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. Acts 9:1-2

I imagined him recalling and pondering the pain he caused, the dramatic change Jesus had made in his life, and how he was now using the lessons and examples from his life (both past and present) for God’s glory.  I’m sure he didn’t disguise his past – he couldn’t…people knew it.  Simply put: He didn’t let his “past” stop or inhibit him (as we often do).  He used all his life experiences so, as he writes in 1 Corinthians nine, “that by all possible means I might save some.”

I guess this passage just hit me because it’s pretty easy to share the “good” stuff with others – certainly our kids.  Sometimes, it’s the “not-so-good” stuff that can be just as profitable and actually makes us real and genuine.

I guess that’s sort of the theme of the whole “freedom” passage anyway!

My brain is full after today – a lot to process, consider, and file away for future use…

Two thoughts from the day:

1. I thank God for my own family.  We were not perfect, but I did live a life that was free from many of the sad things that so many children too often go through.  Most espcecially, I am grateful for my parents.  Just as any kid, there were times that I didn’t feel that way, but man I so appreciate them.
2. I am excited and anxious about the children that Karen and I will have the opportunity to pour our lives into.  I pray that we are used to heal, reaffirm, encourage, and all the things that are necessary for the children that God blesses us with.

I haven’t written too mugh about our journey, one day I will spend some time doing that and post it.

I guess the toughest thing that I (and Karen) have gone through has been our two plus-year adoption journey.  A plus-year year combination of international then domestic, on then off, known then unknown status, and now back on track.  A series of ups and down – all the while knowing that our amazing Heavenly Father was in control…even when we didn’t know where He was leading next!  BTW, Karen is great.  At one point, she described a disappointing situation this way, “First I was sad.  Then I was mad.  Then I was glad!”

As you can imagine – plus-year years of a mix of emotions.  At times, we’ve wondered “why God?”  At times, we’ve asked “why not God?”  We’ve even (in all honesty) said, “come on God!”  We’ve cried, been confused, been excited, been hurt, been mad, been hopeful, been discouraged.  The cool part is that through it all…THROUGH IT ALL, we’ve known that God was in control and had a plan…we’ve just gotten to see it revealed in segments and in His perfect timing!

Tuesday, I was listening to a Andy Stanley’s Defining Moments podcast (#4) and John 9:1-3 hit me.  I’ve read this so many times, heard sermons, read commentaries…  This time, it just hit me anew.  It reads:

¹As he [Jesus] went along, he saw a man blind from birth. ²His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  ³“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.

The key part of the verse (of course) was the phrase, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” These was a reason that this man was born blind.  The man didn’t know that – in fact, in that culture, it was assumed that either he or his parents had sinned and his blindness was the price.  The true reason was that God had a providential plan.  A purpose.  A plan to use this man.  A plan to glorify and exalt Jesus through this man, known and planned by God (according to Psalm 139:16) before this man was born.

This verse really hit me as I talked with Karen that afternoon.  We have come so far in our latest process that it hit me – (Lord willing) we could be parents in about one to two months.  Everything we have been through – EVERYTHING – happened so that the work of God might be displayed in our lives.

I can say with all humility, that the past four years have been the most growth-filled for me as a Christ follower.  Knowing and trusting that through it all, God – my amazing Heavenly Father – has had a plan.  A plan for my growth individually, for our growth as a couple, and a plan that would most importantly display the work of God…His providential hand…in our lives.

BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!

x

Desert Song
Brooke Fraser

This is my prayer in the desert, when all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me, my God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle when triumph is still on it’s way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I’ll stand

All of my life, In every season, You are still God
I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again the seed I’ve received I will sow

2008 Hillsong Publishing (Admin. in U.S. & Canada by Integrity’s Hosanna! Music)

OK, I did venture out today after the meeting and took the 2.5-hour drive to Key West, ate a late lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe, and walked around.  Shot the requisite pictures of the Southernmost Point marker and the Interstate 1 “Mile 0″ sign.  Then made the long drive home.  Dinner was the finer cuisine of Waffle House, as there really wasn’t anything closer to the resort and I didn’t want to pay $40 for a hamburger!

I always miss Karen when I’m gone, but I usually don’t get sick – I’m not a very good patient or self-medicator – so this trip has been especially tough (in the most macho sense of something being tough!).  I am ready to go home – to get out of the heat and humidity (I’m a native NorCal boy) – but most especially to see KAREN!  She is so wonderful and I gladly claim Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”

Nothing too profound today…just a song dedication!

All I Want Is You

If I were a flower growing wild and free
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I were a tree growing tall and greeen
All I’d want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I’d be the snow
As long as you were with me, let the cold wind blow

If you were a wink, I’d be a nod
If you were a seed, I’d be a pod.
If you were the floor, I’d wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I’d be a hug

If you were the wood, I’d be the fire.
If you were the love, I’d be the desire.
If you were a castle, I’d be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I’d learn to float.

Copyright Barry Louis Polisar
From the Juno Soundtrack

One year ago today was the last time I saw my mom this side of heaven.  I had traveled to see her and my family in Montana since she had been sick and was back in the hospital.  As had been the case many times, her room was the gathering point for the family.  It was a great visit – all we really did was just spend time together – with each other…with Mom.  We laughed, cried, ate, talked, prayed – it was nice.  In my heart, I knew her time was close and I will always be glad I went.

If someone in your life has passed away, I’m sure you’ll agree that there are things that bring thoughts of them to you as you go through any given day – leading to tears, laughter, smiles, etc. As I was driving to work recently, doing my morning multi-task drive/prayer/worship, the Charlie Hall song below came on and just reminded me of my mom and the later stages of her life here on earth.

My mom’s body was weak and tired and I know at times she simply wanted Jesus to call her home (she would often tell us that)…but it was in His time, not hers (or ours). I get chills just thinking of my mom and the lines: Finally the voice I have followed for life / has a glorious face that is lit up with light / And you’ll come for me, no more pain, peace, / No more fear, release / just lost and consumed with my glorious King.

Mom is no longer tired or in pain, just worshiping her glorious Savior in His presence!

I can only imagine the day when I will say: Finally the voice I have followed for life / has a glorious face that is lit up with light.

Maranatha!

x

Come For Me

Jesus come take me away, I long to see Your face
This world is broken yet beautifully made,
Jesus come take me away
Jesus I’ll patiently wait, till like a vapor I’ll fade
Help me fulfill all your dreams for these days,
Jesus I’ll patiently wait

You’ll come again with a shout,
like a thief in the night you’ll come riding on clouds
Finally the voice I have followed for life
has a glorious face that is lit up with light
And you’ll come for me, no more pain, peace,
No more fear, release
just lost and consumed with my glorious King,

Jesus today I am tired, I need your music to come and inspire
I give myself to be refined in this fire,
but Jesus today I’m so tired

Come for me

© 2005 Generation Music
Words and Music by Charlie Hall