Some Of My Least Favorite Lyrics Right Now

I really like John Mark McMillan‘s music.  His newest release, The Medicine, is played on my iPhone at least three times a week.  That said, one of his songs contains some of my least favorite lyrics right now (OK, for the past few months):

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about, the way He loves us

– How He Loves

You see, I’m holding on to some regrets.  2010 was a tough year and I’m still processing.  I know holding on is not the right thing to do and I need to move on, “let go and let God” and all, but it’s taking me time.  It’s taking us time.

The funny thing is that I used to be the type of person who let things roll right off.  You know, the stoic person who just couldn’t understand why people held on to things and couldn’t let go.  Now I understand and feel sorry for thinking that and imposing that dogma on people…even myself.

The cool part about this whole thing is that God is big enough to handle the funk I’ve been in.  His strength, power, and character is not changed or diminished based on my regret-holding.  Sure, He would rather I not hold on to stuff; but, at the same time, He has not disowned me or said “I’m done with him!” in response to my funk.  He is the perfect and patient Heavenly Father who is BIGGER than any situation and resulting funk someone sinking in the ocean of His grace finds himself in.  [like how I skillfully wove McMillan’s lyrics in there!]

Anyway…for His patience and understanding, I’m grateful.

How He Loves was written by McMillan in response to the tragic death of a close friend (story).  The original recording of How He Loves includes a pretty profound and brutally honest verse that is not on other recorded versions of the song:

Well, I thought about You the day Steven died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
These people they want to tell me You’re cruel,
But if Steven could sing, he’d say it’s not true, cause He loves us

– wow –

Honestly, I really do like How He Loves – the original version the best – though I do get a gut check when I hear the “regret” line…

…but, in the Holy Spirit-inspired words of the Apostle Paul (who probably dealt with ton’s of regretful baggage himself), I “press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.”