Sometimes God Says No

I believe that God always answers prayer – and typically in one of three ways: Yes, No, or Wait.

I think in general, our desire when we pray is that God will answer as we ask, hope, and dream – which usually involves a YES answer.  If we ask for “A”, our hope and expectation is that God will answer “A”, and not “B” or “C.”  It’s what we expect from others when we ask them to do something – why should our prayers to God be any different.

The truth is, God knows what is best – we think we know, but we really only see our lives with a limited view.  God is God and knows all; in fact, the Bible teaches that He has “known” for eternity.  There is surety and comfort in that – even though a NO answer is hard, disappointing, and, in our human mind, the “wrong” answer.  I guess NO is sometimes the best and most appropriate answer – believing and resting in that is called faith and trust.

For about four years, we have prayed that God would lead us to our forever family – to become adoptive parents.  We’ve traveled various paths in this journey and have had many ups and downs, joys and sorrows, laughter, anguish, …a range of emotions in that time – all bathed in prayer, hope, surrender, and trust.  Through it all, we have really become a stronger and closer couple and have learned a lot about trusting in God’s providence.  Those close to us have rejoiced, comforted, and encouraged us on each of these paths and in each of these periods and we are so appreciative.

Toward the end of last year, we both felt that God was confirming in our hearts that He may have other plans for us – plans that didn’t necessarily involve our being parents.  It was a hard realization, but one that we separately and jointly came to hold.  God was saying no to adoption.

We always joke that I am the writer in the family; but Karen put is so eloquently yesterday when she sent a friend a message – one that drips with the faith and trust mentioned above:

“[We] are no longer searching for our forever family.  We feel that after almost 4 years of searching, and never being matched with the right children, God must surely have other plans for us.  We wanted to be parents in the worst way, but for some reason, this was not meant to be.  We are tired and felt it to be in our best interest to stop and start a new chapter in our lives.  We are heartbroken and we grieve, for our dreams of parenthood will not be; but we are excited to see what God has in store for us in this next chapter in our lives.”

Accepting a NO answer from God is hard.  Many may question our acceptance and trust in this…say we should keep on going, and that is OK.  Some may completely identify with us, and we appreciate that immensely.  For us, knowing and trusting that God has amazing plans for us – ones to prosper and not harm, ones to give hope and a future – makes this tough decision one in which we feel increasing peace.

x

One final note:  We still believe in adoption.  As Christ-followers, we have been adopted ourselves (Ephesians 1:4-6).  In that adoption, we are called to “…love because He (God) first loved us.”  (1 John 4:19) and know that “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction.”  (James 1:27).  We still have a part to play in adoption – the statistics are staggering and the need remains.  Our participation has simply changed.