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Archives For November 30, 1999

Sometimes God Says No

February 4, 2011 — 2 Comments

I believe that God always answers prayer – and typically in one of three ways: Yes, No, or Wait.

I think in general, our desire when we pray is that God will answer as we ask, hope, and dream – which usually involves a YES answer.  If we ask for “A”, our hope and expectation is that God will answer “A”, and not “B” or “C.”  It’s what we expect from others when we ask them to do something – why should our prayers to God be any different.

The truth is, God knows what is best – we think we know, but we really only see our lives with a limited view.  God is God and knows all; in fact, the Bible teaches that He has “known” for eternity.  There is surety and comfort in that – even though a NO answer is hard, disappointing, and, in our human mind, the “wrong” answer.  I guess NO is sometimes the best and most appropriate answer – believing and resting in that is called faith and trust.

For about four years, we have prayed that Continue Reading…

In Adoption, Christianity, Life , , , , , , ,
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Blessed Be THE Name

December 7, 2009 — 2 Comments

Resting on this truth today:

“We put our hope in the LORD. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, LORD, for our hope is in you alone.”

Psalm 33:20-22

Amazing Hope Giver,

You are all knowing, all powerful, all sufficient,…You are perfect.

I know it.

I trust it.

Blessed be Your amazing name!

d

In Adoption, Family, General, Life , , , , ,
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Staggering, but…

October 13, 2009 — Leave a comment

I read this the other day.  It’s staggering.

In the world:

  • hand holdThere are 143 million orphans in our world. If all the orphans in the world were moved to the country of Mexico, Mexico’s population would more than double, growing from 108,700,000 to 251,700,000.
  • 87.6 million orphans live in Asia.
  • 43.4 million orphans live in Sub-Saharan Africa.
  • There are as many orphaned and vulnerable children in Ethiopia as there are people in greater NYC.
  • 12.4 million orphans live in Latin America and the Caribbean.
  • Almost 1.5 million children live in public care in Central and Eastern Europe.

In the United States:

  • More than 800,000 children pass through our country’s foster care system each year.
  • There are over 500,000 children in our foster care system right now.
  • 129,000 of those children are waiting to be adopted from foster care right now.
  • Approximately, 25,000 children age out of the foster care system each year; many with no support system and little to no life skills.

How many children are adopted each year?

  • Between 118,000 and 127,000 children have been adopted every year since 1987.
  • More than 50 percent of all adoptions are handled by public agencies or come from countries outside the United States.
  • More than one-third of Americans have seriously considered adopting, but no more than 2 percent have actually adopted.
  • Only 4 percent of families with children (1.7 million households) contain adopted children.

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The sad part is that I may not have even read this if we were not in the process of adopting.

As a Christ-follower (and one who is adopted by God [Ephesians 1:4-6]), I am called to:

“…love because He (God) first loved us.” -1 John 4:19

I also know that:

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction.” – James 1:27

But still, I have done or thought very little about this until our own journey started a few years ago…

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We all must play a part in addressing these statistics – which actually represent precious children and teens whom God loves:

OrphSundayFor some, it is actually adopting or fostering.

For others, it is partnering with a reputable organization or two that provide care.

Some may even give to or help someone in their own community, church, or family who is a foster/adoptive parent.

The key is to actually THINK about this and
DO SOMETHING.

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So, what will you do?


Statistics source: Together for Adoption.org

In Adoption, Christianity
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Attachment

September 16, 2009 — Leave a comment

hand holdKaren and I attended a great training session Tuesday night as we move on in our journey to becoming the forever family for two to three precious kids [in the lingo, that means adoptive parents.]  The topic was “Attachment Issues & Intervention Strategies.”  Wikipedia defines Attachment in Children as:

“A theory of attachment between children and their caregivers specifically addressing the behaviors and emotions that children direct toward familiar adults.”

The training dealt with how children attach to parents (biological and adoptive), hindrances to that attachment, and techniques to address the challenges.  It was really informative, especially as we prepare for the time when we have kids and seek to nurture and help them with the unique challenges they may face.  On the drive home, we talked about how any parent would benefit from this (and the other) training we’ve received.  We also talked about the rest of this post…

Here’s the thing.

As I sat in the classroom, absorbing the information and taking notes, my mind immediately began to see parallels to our relationship with God – our attachment to our Heavenly Father.  So much so that I, of course, wanted to post about it.  I share the things below as an encouragement and reminder for those who consider God as their Heavenly Father.

Before reading on, take a few minutes to read these passages:

Deuteronomy 31:8; Psalm 23; Psalm 61:2-4; Psalm 91:3-5; Psalm 139:1-16; Isaiah 49:15-16; Matthew 6:26

From the presentation:

Information about attachment theory in children:

  • “When I am close to my loved one I feel good, when I am far away I am anxious, sad, or lonely.”
  • Attachment is mediated by looking, hearing, and holding.
  • “When I am held, I feel warm, safe, and comforted.”
  • Results in a relaxed state so that one can, again, begin to explore.

Secure or good attachment is best assessed in times of stress and when one is upset.

Children need both a:

  • Secure Base: “Watch over me, Help me, enjoy life with me.”
  • Secure Haven: “Protect me, comfort me, delight in me, organize my feelings.”

Insecure or Anxious Attachment is manifested in:

  • Anxious about caregiver’s availability.
  • Afraid that caregiver will be unresponsive or ineffective in providing comfort.

Now, re-read the passages and know without a shadow of a doubt that they are true.  God, our Heavenly Father, is amazing, faithful, caring, loving, gracious, comforting, shepherding, powerful, and so much more than a mere list of adjectives on some irrelevant blog can describe.

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If you don’t consider God as your Heavenly Father, the truth is that He is real.  He created you and loves you in a profound way that isn’t really explainable in human terms or understanding.  He is the perfect father – incomparable to any earthly father (the best or the worst).  Know that God loves you and gave His Son (Jesus) to pay the price for our sin.  He desires our…your “attachment”.

In Adoption, Christianity , ,
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No Condemnation. [Kapow!]

September 10, 2009 — Leave a comment

serie_kapowI’ve read these verses from Romans chapter eight before:

1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

But today, they hit me in the gut.

As Karen and I wait for phone calls, emails, snail mail,…whatever about our adoption process, tons of thoughts run through our minds.  Last week we were talking and the subject of sin and punishment came up.  Is/was there something hindering God answering our prayer for kids?  We know there isn’t, we know and live 1 John 1:9-10.  It was “the accuser” accusing.  [OK, I’m not saying we don’t sin.  Speaking for myself, I identify with Paul’s self-evaluation in 1 Timothy 1:15 (“…of whom I am the worst.”)  Karen’s human, so she sins…  ]

In those “accuser” instances, my mind always goes back to this passage in Romans – I say in those instances, because Satan always tries to throw those (and other) thoughts at Christ Followers.  None of us is squeaky clean, and guilt can be stifling.

Anyway, today…  Me getting hit in the gut…

I’m reading a book titled, “Adopted for Life” by Dr. Russell Moore.  It’s about adoption in human terms and also in spiritual terms.  This book is for everyone, not just people adopting.  Powerful stuff!

In a passage talking about feeling like God’s punishing you, Moore writes:

“Remember, we can’t bypass Jesus…  He is the One who bore the curse on our behalf, every bit of it (Gal. 3:13).  If you’ve believed in Christ, you are blessed, not cursed, whatever your situation.

…God is not punishing you.  If you are in Christ, your punishment was adsorbed in the body of a crucified Jesus.  God may be disciplining you, shaping you, and he often uses suffering to do so, but He isn’t punishing you.  He views you within the body of Christ, and loves and delights in you.  Whatever is happening in your life, nothing can separate you from the love of God in Christ (Rom. 8:31-39.)” [pg. 89-90]

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Pow. Thwack. Kapow.*

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Again, this is nothing new for me – I’ve heard and read this before.  …but I needed to hear it again.  I have to believe that I’m not the only one needing to hear this.

Thank you God! (take that satan!)

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*From the “you can find anything on the Internet”: I was trying to remember the punch sounds from Batman and stumbled on this site that cataloged all the sounds…by episode.  They are now offered by me for your future use and reference! [the fact that they are in Spanish shouldn’t make a difference!] 🙂

In Adoption, Christianity , , , ,
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Family

May 30, 2009 — 6 Comments

famToday, Karen and I finished our pre-adoption training with the agency we are working with.  The only training we have left is our CPR & First Aid (if you saw the re-run of The Office the other night…I won’t pull a Dwight!)

My brain is full after today – a lot to process, consider, and file away for future use…

Two thoughts from the day:

  1. I thank God for my own family.  We were not perfect, but I did live a life that was free from many of the sad things that so many children too often go through.  Most espcecially, I am grateful for my parents.  Just as any kid, there were times that I didn’t feel that way, but man I so appreciate them.
  2. I am excited and anxious about the children that Karen and I will have the opportunity to pour our lives into.  I pray that we are used to heal, reaffirm, encourage, and all the things that are necessary for the children that God blesses us with.

I haven’t written too mugh about our journey, one day I will spend some time doing that and post it.

In Adoption, Family, Kids , ,
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Providence

May 27, 2009 — 1 Comment

So my life is far from hard.  The “trials” I have gone through (I really don’t even feel right calling them that) are not comparable to those that many have had and I humbly praise God for that (if that is even a right thing to do).

I guess the toughest thing that I (and Karen) have gone through has been our two plus-year adoption journey.  A plus-year year combination of international then domestic, on then off, known then unknown status, and now back on track.  A series of ups and down – all the while knowing that our amazing Heavenly Father was in control…even when we didn’t know where He was leading next!  BTW, Karen is great.  At one point, she described a disappointing situation this way, “First I was sad.  Then I was mad.  Then I was glad!”

As you can imagine – plus-year years of a mix of emotions.  At times, we’ve wondered “why God?”  At times, we’ve asked “why not God?”  We’ve even (in all honesty) said, “come on God!”  We’ve cried, been confused, been excited, been hurt, been mad, been hopeful, been discouraged.  The cool part is that through it all…THROUGH IT ALL, we’ve known that God was in control and had a plan…we’ve just gotten to see it revealed in segments and in His perfect timing!

Tuesday, I was listening to a Andy Stanley’s Defining Moments podcast (#4) and John 9:1-3 hit me.  I’ve read this so many times, heard sermons, read commentaries…  This time, it just hit me anew.  It reads:

1As he [Jesus] went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  3“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.

Continue Reading…

In Adoption, Christianity, Family, Kids, Life, Marriage , , , , , ,
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